S’more Mom

I come through the door, exhausted from a long day of being unprepared and super busy at work.  The baby has been eagerly awaiting her mommy since my arrival home lines up perfectly with her next feeding.  The boys are wound up on sugar, tired energy that comes at the end of the day, and the newfound freedom that comes from mom being busy with baby sister, so an all out ninja turtle reenactment ensues.  I sit on the couch feeding my daughter and survey the post hurricane like conditions of my living room.  I close my eyes for a moment, thank God everyone is healthy and safe, and start making plans to gain control over my home this weekend.   Monday will come all to quickly and it’s back to haphazard cleaning, scattered grocery shopping with a feeble attempt at couponing, a mountain of laundry, half completed weekend projects…the list goes on. I’ll come in from work, we will scratch together dinner, hurry through baths and stories, and shoo the kids off to bed.  Then my husband and I will start cleaning up the debris of the day, washing dishes, picking up clothes and finally heading to bed.  He will snuggle in close and I will find myself glancing at the clock instead of moving in toward him.  If I was treading water earlier this year, we have moved straight on to dead man’s float.  Something has to give!  I have never been okay with not feeling like I was the best at something.  I want to treasure time with my children while they are growing up.  I want to have time to play with them instead of just cycling through my daily parenting to-do list.  I want to cherish the time I have with my husband; be able to show him a glimpse of all the time, energy and affection I could shower him with back when we were dating.  I want to actually have my house in order:  grocery shopping list categorized by department and in order of the store, neatly clipped coupons, sales researched, laundry washed, dried, folded and put away all in the same day, bathroom counters clean and sparkling. So, I quit.  I resigned from my job, and in 22 days when my contract expires, I am taking on the title of SAHM.  As with all my plans and God’s sense of humor, nothing is quite ever as I imagine it, so I am chronicling my adventures of culinarian, wife, and stay at home mom.  I’m setting out to find less work, s’more mom.

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