Happy anniversary – Smoremom is one year old today.
This year I have learned so much about myself, my marriage, and my children. To commemorate some-more-mothering…
I come through the door, exhausted from a long day of messes, sticky fingers, and things to-do. The baby toddles around dragging everything out of the cabinets and checking on what her brothers are up to. The boys are wound up being reunited since my eldest has been off at school all day, so an all out ninja turtle reenactment ensues. I fix dinner, commence with the bedtime routine, and tackle the dirty dishes. I sit on the couch to visit with Man for a bit, realize he’s napping in his chair, and survey the post hurricane like conditions of my living room.
I close my eyes for a moment, thank God everyone is healthy and safe, and giggle a little at how much things have changed in a year, and how much the stayed the same. Monday still will come all to quickly, my house cleaning is still haphazard (have you tried to keep a house clean with three little ones at home?), grocery shopping is much more regimented, but couponing is still a feeble attempt. Each week, there is still a mountain of laundry to do and half completed projects that need a finish…the list goes on. We come home late from ball practice and it’s a hurried dinner, baths and stories, then shoo the kids off to bed. I start cleaning up the debris of the day, washing dishes, picking up clothes and finally heading to bed.
Yep, I quit. I resigned from my job and took on the title of SAHM. As with all my plans and God’s sense of humor, it was nothing like I imagined it. It was hard and wonderful, and I have been so blessed and grateful for every second.
What happened to all the time I should have gained when I quit working? I play hide and seek, we attend library time, we go to the park, we tickle and giggle, and blow raspberries. A year ago I had great ambition. I was going to get the grocery shopping organized and enjoyable, housekeeping on a schedule, and find those little pockets of time with the kids I was certain I was missing out on while I was at work. I was going to exercise daily, get more sleep, create an awesome blog, and get myself pulled together (ya know – like when I was in my 20’s and only had Man to worry about). I was going to make marinara sauce, salsa, cocoa mix, all baked goods from scratch. I was going to be crafty!
Six months ago, I thought I had just been delusional. What I realized is this: I have been given the freedom to prioritize. I can relish the time I have with my little ones and get to the to-do list another day. I haven’t had to scramble to get classes covered if something came up at Kiddo’s school, I just go. Family appointments, important dates, and kids’ birthday parties fill my calendar. Travel for work usually involves a museum or the zoo. I have actually cleaned my oven. In the last six months. I can snuggle up on the couch when it’s cold and rainy instead of trekking to the grocery store. I have found a momiform that doesn’t make me cringe when I pass a mirror. I have learned part of the words to that Frozen song, and recently explained in great detail about minions. We pick up rocks, chase bugs, and gaze up at the moon.
I had disappointment in what I thought I would do and what I actually have done, but I have learned to let go of that disappointment and focus on being content. I have had time to thank God every day that I get those little moments that pass by so quickly. I thank Him that the days are long, but ask that the weeks slow down just a little. I’ve made time for me, time to work out, and time to call my grandma, drop in on a friend, and plant some flowers. I quit pushing and found out the really imperative things get done, and everything else prioritize itself.
I am having quite an adventure as a culinarian, wife, and stay at home mom. I’m still setting out to find less work, s’more mom.
I rejoice in the fact that I have a mother. She chose to have me. I was able to become Me and walk along my path in life.
I am glad my mother is still here. Crazy as she makes me, I will miss her when she’s not here driving me that way. So I will be glad when she calls as my three-year-old dumps an entire jug of milk, drops by unannounced, or is seemingly unreasonable. For one day…I may understand exactly what that reasoning was.
I’m thankful I have children. I’m thankful they are healthy and can play to make the laundry really dirty. I’m thankful my children are well, and our family has been provided for, so I can find joy in the dishes I dirty preparing meals for them. I don’t need a special day for that. I am reminded daily of how blessed I am, and how desperate I am to cherish the little “every day” moments.
Here is an honest & cute little something floating around the internet: If you are a mother anywhere, especially if you are a mother with young children, read this letter from Beth. Then, over the course of the year, read it when you have a tough day.
You are awesome! You grew a person! You gave birth! To a person! You work every day to make that person happy, productive, and well adjusted. Happy Mother’s Day y’all!